Preventing Separation Distress During and After a Pandemic

Our pets are family members. When families shelter together for extended periods, as occurred during the COVID-19 pandemic, pets enjoy nearly constant companionship. Spending time with our pets can strengthen the human-animal bond and deepen our relationship with our pets.

When we resume an active lifestyle, for instance returning to work after an extended period at home, our pets are suddenly faced with being alone. They may experience distress related to this loss of companionship.

What is separation distress?

Separation-related distress, sometimes called separation anxiety, is distress triggered by the absence of an attachment figure. Distress may stem from anxiety, frustration, and/or the absence of social guidance. Since individual pets experience different emotions, they also exhibit different signs of distress; the key is that they only exhibit these behaviors when they are left without a significant social figure and rarely if ever exhibit the behaviors when a valued companion is available.

"Behavior modification and management strategies are key to preventing and treating separation related distress."

Some common signs associated with this disorder include plaintive vocalization, destructive behavior, and house soiling. Dogs may damage exit points such as doors and windows. Cats left for extended periods may decline to eat. Some dogs and cats over-groom and may even injure themselves by excessively licking or gnawing. Pet cameras can be used to learn more about your pet’s behavior in your absence. Signs of distress may include pacing, panting, and restlessness.

If your pet is showing any of the signs listed here, tell your veterinary team right away. Professional intervention sometimes includes the use of fast-acting medication that brings relief and prevents the behavior from escalating. Behavior modification and management strategies are key to preventing and treating separation related distress.   

How can I meet the needs of my pets?

Pets need their daily needs met to remain both physically and mentally healthy. Of course, proper nutrition, medical care, and grooming/husbandry are at the top of the list. Some other crucial daily needs of companion animals include:

• protection from undue stress or fear
• physical exercise (cats, too!)
• mental stimulation (e.g.,  foraging, exploring, solving puzzles, playing and engaging in reward-based training)
• social interactions with family members
• restful sleep

It is important to develop  a routine that includes a plan for meeting your pet’s daily physical and behavioral needs. Having a predictable routine can reduce a pet’s stress. The routine does not need to be rigid, but it should provide time for each category of activity each day. Incorporating alone time into the daily routine allows pets to predict that they may sometimes be alone and may protect them from experiencing separation-related distress.  

How can I tell if my pet is showing signs of stress?

Common signs of stress in dogs include refusing treats, taking treats roughly when normally gentle, pacing, panting when not hot, trembling, shaking off when not wet, scratching when not itchy, licking lips in the absence of food, yawning when not tired, barking or whining, or seeking attention (jumping up, pawing). You may notice your dog has dilated pupils/wide eyes or a furrowed brow. She may hold her head down. Her ears may be down or to the side and her tail may be held low or tucked. Her muscles may appear tense, and she may be restless and fidget or she may attempt to move away. 

Common signs of stress in cats include refusing treats, taking treats roughly when normally gentle, panting, or rapid breathing. Stressed cats exhibit dilated pupils/wide eyes and furrow their brows to a degree. Their tails are low and flicking.  You may notice your cat crouching and holding her head low. She may move her ears to the side or back. Her whiskers may either flatten to her cheek or be held far forward. She may attempt to move away. Soothing behaviors such as rubbing, scratching, and climbing may increase.

"When a trigger brings a pet “above threshold”, then there is a chance that the pet will become even more sensitive to that trigger during a future encounter."

The body language of stress is mentioned here because any training program to prevent or help with separation anxiety should be kept non-stressful for the animal. This means that your pet should stay “below threshold” during training sessions. The threshold is the intensity at which a pet reacts to a stimulus. When a trigger brings a pet “above threshold”, then there is a chance that the pet will become even more sensitive to that trigger during a future encounter. 

When working on the exercises in this handout, “below threshold” means that your pet is not showing any of the signs of stress mentioned above, and that she appears comfortable and willing to participate. Never intentionally put your pet into a stressful situation. Being forced to “confront fears” is called flooding. Flooding can result in emotional harm that is difficult or impossible to reverse in some cases and is too risky to include in basic training and behavior modification exercises.

How can I teach my pet to be on his/her own?

Independence training can be used to teach pets how to be comfortable when they are alone and when their main social attachment figures are absent or inaccessible. The following are examples of independence training.

Downtime

Build time into the day for your pet to nap or relax without planned interaction. Offer a chew toy, food dispensing toy, or meal in the desired “downtime” location. You may tether or anchor the food dispenser to encourage your pet to remain in the location. Otherwise, she might pick up the treat and follow you.

If your pet is comfortable, simply provide the distraction and move on with your activities. If your pet shows signs of stress like those described above, stop the exercise and start more slowly.

For example, you might purposely remain near the downtime area while your pet enjoys the snack. Try to keep interactions to a minimum. Keep the session short and remain close enough that your pet shows no signs of stress (stays “below threshold”). Over time, both the duration of the exercise and the distance between you and your pet can be extended.

The downtime exercise helps build and maintain the habit of spending time alone engaging in quiet, calm, and relaxing behaviors without your company.

Settle in Place

Encourage your pet to settle in a cozy bed or on a mat that is set close to you while you relax. Use a pheromone such as Feliway® (for cats) or Thunderease® (for dogs) to encourage your pet to rest in that location. Over time, move your seat slightly further away (or move the mat). Begin to leave the room briefly. If your pet follows, gently return her to her mat and tell her you’ll be right back. Don’t go further than her comfort level. You may use treats to encourage her to remain in her place rather than to follow you. Practice every day and, if your home is large, practice in different areas - bring her safe mat along. The goal is for her to find comfort in the mat and to settle there when she cannot find you.

Barrier or Confinement Training

When the settle is going well, try adding a gate and extending the time you are not available to your pet. Consider that your pet faces a barrier (the front door) when you leave the house. If your cat usually follows you into the bathroom, try to schedule at least one bathroom break without her. When you return to your pet, do not make a fuss, just say a casual hello. If her safe mat is nearby, quietly deposit a treat on the mat and continue your business.

Go to Place

When pets are distressed, they often seek attention with behaviors such as vocalizing, jumping up, or even attempting to chew or scratch inappropriate items – behaviors that usually get a reaction. Almost any interaction can be rewarding when your pet is feeling needy. The “go to place” cue immediately communicates that you are unavailable, without the need for any extensive interaction. At the same time, sending her to her safe place should bring immediate emotional comfort.  Practice sending her to place often, especially when she is already calm. Reward her for going there and reward her for staying there for longer periods. 

How can I teach my pet to go to place?

You can use positive reinforcement to teach any new skill. A clicker is a useful tool for marking correct responses during training. First, teach your pet that every time you click, a treat follows immediately, so the sound of the clicker evokes a positive emotion. Then, click when your pet is doing exactly the right thing. After the click, give a treat! A click is a marker saying "YES! That thing!" and an IOU for a cookie.

When training, start in a quiet area so there are no distractions. All you need is a mat or bed and some favored tiny treats. There are two easy techniques for training “go to place”: luring and shaping.

Luring

Use a treat to lure your pet to engage in the desired behavior. Start by standing a few steps away from the place.

1. Show your pet the treat and walk with her to the mat. Feed her the moment she puts her feet onto the mat. If she already knows how to sit or lie down for a treat, it can be helpful to quietly lure her into that position and then feed her.
2. Repeat several times. Do not use any verbal cues. Just walk quietly toward the mat, treat in hand. Soon your pet will trot ahead of you. She will realize the treat won’t be delivered until she gets to the mat. 
3. Once she consistently trots ahead, introduce the verbal cue “place” just as she starts to leave your side. Follow along, treat. Toss the treat off the mat to reset her.
4. If you have not already done so, begin to ask her to lie down when she gets to the mat, and before you deliver the treat. Quietly lure her to lie down, then treat. Repeat until she immediately lies down every time she gets to the mat.
5. Next, try slowing down and saying your cue. Follow along, treat; try sending her while you are standing still; try sending her from a different angle. 
6. Now she knows the word “place”. Begin to delay the reward. Sometimes deliver at once, sometimes just praise her (or click) so she knows she is correct, but wait a few seconds before rewarding. 
7. Toss a treat away whenever you need to reset the exercise.

If at any time your pet shows hesitance, confusion, or lack of progress, take a step back to the most recent level of difficulty that was successful and try again. The above plan may take two minutes or 20 sessions. Let your pet set the pace!

Shaping

With shaping, the end behavior is broken up into small building blocks which are rewarded until the full behavior has been accomplished. Shaping is like the “hot and cold” game many children play. A complex skill is taught by rewarding baby steps toward the goal. At first, reward (click and treat) the smallest step in the right direction. With each session, as your pet begins to readily offer the previously learned task, you will only deliver a reward when your pet offers the next behavior in the progression toward the end goal.

To begin, sit or stand in a relaxed neutral position near the mat. Look at the place, but do not hold eye contact with your pet. Observe your pet’s behavior and watch for any of the following:

• Looking at place
• Turning head toward place
• Walking toward place 1 step
• Walking toward place, multiple steps
• Leaning over place
• Sniffing place
• Touching a paw or nose to place

Each of these “guesses” is “hotter” and getting closer to the “go to place” skill. Each one receives a click and treat. Consider rolling or tossing the treat a short distance away from the place to reset the learner for a new attempt. The next level most pets offer includes:

• Touching a paw to place for 1–2 seconds
• Touching more than one paw to place
• Standing on place
• Sitting on place
• “Down” or other known trick on place
• Remaining on place for longer periods of time

For those steps, click, drop a treat onto the place, then toss or roll a second treat away to reset for a new attempt.

Once your pet is choosing to go to and remain on the place, introduce pointing and word cue to send them to their place. Then, begin adding distance, so your pet is being sent away from you and settling in their designated spot.

Having trouble? Slow down and accept smaller baby steps. “Split” the baby steps down and watch for the smallest guess that could lead to a right answer. It is never wrong to reward a baby step! But it can cause problems if rewards are withheld while waiting for a leap in understanding.

What can I do now to prevent problems in the future?

You can use the above independence training techniques to teach your pet to be on their own. The following tips can also help your pet with your transition back to work.

Pre-Departure Cues and No Drama

Pets are good observers of human behavior. They notice signs that a departure is impending. Pre-departure cues include putting on shoes, picking up a wallet or handbag, or jingling car keys. Pets also notice when we are rushing about because we need to get out on time. All these cues indicate to our pets that we plan to leave.

You can reduce the predictive element of these cues by engaging in the same behaviors when you are not going out. Get dressed in your running shoes or work shoes even if you are not going anywhere. Then stay home and watch a movie or cook dinner. The goal is to prevent your pet from linking departure cues with an actual departure. Practicing these techniques at home may prevent your pet from developing separation-related distress when you need to leave.

When you are getting ready to leave, avoid any drama. Just say a quiet goodbye – think happy thoughts, so your pet does not know you are worried. Do the same when you return – just give a calm greeting and then go about unpacking your bags or sit down and relax. Your calm demeanor can communicate to your pet that your coming and going is just a routine part of life. 

Practice Separations

Practice short separations to assess your pet’s comfort with being left alone. At first, these practice separations may be only a few seconds long. Practice separations are a good way to teach pets that the owner moving away means wonderful things are coming.

Select an area where your pet will be safe, such as a crate or a room with a baby gate. If you have trained “settle on place”, then be sure your pet has their safe mat. 

Smile and calmly say something such as “I’ll be back.” Toss a few treats and then step out of sight. Start with just a few seconds at a time, and gradually work up to longer separations. 

Longer Separations

If you are not sure if your pet is comfortable alone, a video camera is a terrific tool for checking in. Home monitoring cameras, baby monitors, cell phones, and webcams allow you to watch your pet while you are away. Simply set up the separation and make sure the video is running. Check in on your pet remotely or review the video when you return. Start with just a moment or two, then gradually work up to longer and longer separations. See handout “Watching Your Watch Dog: Home Pet Monitoring Systems” for more information.

What can I do if separation is causing anxiety?

If you are concerned your pet may have separation distress or separation anxiety, reach out to your veterinary team. They may refer you to a veterinary behaviorist for an assessment and a comprehensive treatment program. Meanwhile, observe your pet’s responses to things like departure cues, provide videos of what happened when your pet was alone, and keep a journal of your pet’s behavior. While you are waiting for your appointment, avoid leaving your pet alone. Some emergency options you can consider include hiring a dog walker or pet sitter, taking your pet to daycare, bringing your pet with you or, if possible, temporarily working from home.

Separation-related distress can be treated. Treatment usually involves the use of medications, management (including no separations or alone time during the first several weeks of the treatment period) and behavior modification that may include independence training and an incremental program of safe departures.